For the Love of Coffee

I love coffee. I love everything about it, from the smell to the taste. I love the smell of coffee grounds, and I love the smell of brewing coffee. I’ve always loved dark roast coffee, because I like it rich and full and strong. The best coffee to me was always Caribou, a chain popular in the Midwest. There are 8-10 Caribous in my town, and I can only think of 1 or 2 Starbucks. Starbucks coffee has always been way too bitter for me, even with sweeteners. That’s another thing: I love my coffee sweet and smooth. Caribou is strong and it still tastes good with sweeteners.

A couple of years ago, there was an ad on a podcast I listen to for shade grown coffee. The ad no longer plays so I won’t mention that, but in the ad they would explain why shade grown coffee is better. For one thing, it’s how coffee is meant to be grown and how it originally grew. But as commercial coffee “standards” became set, the natural forests coffee grew in were deforested in favor of a more “convenient” way to grow and cultivate coffee. Removing the trees causes a lot of problems, however. It removes sustainability for the land and for the farmers. The soil erodes much faster, and after 30 years the soil no longer has the proper minerals to grow the coffee. It increases the acidity of coffee. A lot of people say that coffee creates acidic reflux problems for them, and the acidity is what makes it bitter, increasing the need for sweeteners (while coffee isn’t bad for you and is actually good for you and low in calories with no fat or carbs, sweeteners are very bad). Removing the trees is also a negative for the local wildlife and birds. Keeping the taller trees that coffee trees grow under is beneficial for the environment and local eco system. You can do your own research on this matter, and you can start here if you wish.

I never tried the coffee that was advertised, but I always kept it in the back of my mind as I was buying the bitter coffee from the convenience stores and adding sugar and hazelnut creamer with a touch of French vanilla for my morning fix. One day a while ago, I happened to see this bright red bag in the coffee aisle at Target with a yellow peace sign on it. It caught my eye and I read the label. It said that it was fair traded, organic, and shade grown. I was so excited, but then I saw the price. $10.99 for 12oz. I was super disappointed, because that seemed like a lot after quickly looking at the prices of the other coffees. I never buy coffee to make at home, so I wasn’t familiar with this. The other coffees were way cheaper. Then I did a little more research in the aisle, and discovered that NONE of the other coffees were shade grown. Having no other reference, I bought the little bag and decided to try it. (You can learn more about Peace Coffee here, or buy some of your own to try. I learned that it’s a local Minnesota company, which is really cool that Target picked it up. Of course, Target is a Minnesota company too, but it’s nice to see a corporation support a local brand with a good message. I’ve looked at Walmart, and they have NO shade grown coffee from any brand, and I’m sure most grocery stores are like this.)

I used to make my dad’s coffee for him when I was a kid, and he liked his to have a teaspoon per cup of coffee. I like my coffee as strong as my dad’s, so this is what I did with the first batch I brewed. It was too weak. It was good, but too weak. I ended up having to put a bit more than that in for my preferred strength, but once I found it, it was perfect. I tried drinking it black, and the bitterness and acidity were so greatly reduced I instantly fell in love. It was amazing!! I had no idea that coffee didn’t have to be bitter. However, drinking it black was a little too off the rails for me and I couldn’t handle so much change at once. I’m happy adding just a little bit of hazelnut creamer, but definitely no sugar. To give you an idea as to how sweet I like my coffee, I would add three or four packets of sugar to one cup of coffee at a restaurant, and two or three creamers. The taste is soft enough with this shade grown coffee that I didn’t need that (Hazelnut creamer does have some sugar in it, I think 7gms per serving). Since it’s summer I’m all about iced coffee, so I will pre-brew the coffee and leave it in the fridge overnight to get cold (I should actually just cold-press it instead! But I haven’t tried that yet) and add ice and a little creamer in the morning.

A friend of mine recently recommended a website where he gets his coffee, and I have to say, they do a really great job in their descriptions of where the coffee comes from, and gives as many details as possible. Some of the coffees have such things as how they’re cultivated and history of the area that the coffee is grown in. It’s very impressive that they’ve put that much effort and care into their website and it’s clear they have a true love of coffee. After perusing their organic section, reading the descriptions and reviews, I have 11 different kinds of coffees in my wishlist. You get free shipping if you purchase $35 or more in coffee. The prices in my wishlist range from $9.95/12oz to $10.95, so very comparable to Peace Coffee. Not all of them say they are shade grown specifically, but if they say low acidity, it’s an educated guess that it is shade grown. You can shop for yourself here at Fresh Roasted Coffee.

If you are still with me, I can only hope that you love coffee as much as I do, and it doesn’t have to be a bad or dreaded or unhealthy habit. Your coffee can taste so much better if you buy shade grown. It’s more expensive, but it’s also helping farmers and wildlife maintain a standard of living. If sustainability and being more conscious of your shopping choices are important to you, this should be too. I need to choose which ones to get first, and I’m so excited to get the first shipment! Once I do I will probably write some reviews once I try them.

Photos courtesy of Morguefile. Header image/Footer image

Does it Really Need to Be Said?

I wrote a post about love being fluid and polyamory, and a friend messaged me that monogamy and traditional values still have their place. I can understand that. Yes, it is up to each individual what works for them, and then be with partners that share your views. And be honest with yourself and others. You have to dig in deep, and really think about what your values are. Do you really think monogamy is feasible? Can one person be your everything for the rest of your life? Because another value of consensual nonmonogamy (that many poly people have) is that one person can’t possibly fulfill everything for you, everything you need in life. Different people bring different aspects to your life. Honesty first with yourself and the people around you is so important.

But does this really need to be said? Do we really have to vocalize a caveat? Or can’t we just have conversations expecting there to be exceptions and the “this doesn’t always apply” card? There are all kinds of memes floating around about this being the day and age that everyone is constantly offended over everything. Some topics I can agree are offensive, like rape jokes and racist jokes, and “jokes” that attack a group of people or person. But I can’t tell you how often in conversations people will say, “But that’s not always the case!” Well, of course that’s not always the case. We don’t live in a world of absolutes. Even science can change, and that is a beautiful thing. Things are in a constant state of evolution, and change, and there are almost always exceptions to the rule.

A while back, I offended my aunt by saying something negative about Christianity and Christians. I said something about so much hate coming from Christians in regards to the LGBTQ community, and she took it personally. I felt deeply saddened that she did so, and I didn’t mean for it to be a personal attack. I was only making a general statement about what I’ve personally seen and heard. But I had to continue to qualify my statement by saying it’s not personal, and giving examples of the kinds of horrible things Christians have said, and most definitely in a religious context. I still feel bad for offending her, but is this the world we live in? We can’t call out bad behavior in a general manner from our own perspective for fear offending someone? Obviously, not EVERY Christian is hateful towards gay people. However, the most hateful comments I have ever seen towards gay people have come from a Christian, and absolutely saying them in a religious context. I am not lying about my experiences, and I should be able to say that.

I really shouldn’t have to qualify everything by following up with “but not everyone is like that” or “but not everything is like that.” And neither should anyone else. It should just be assumed, to be honest. I really don’t think it should be mentioned. We should just carry on the conversation, trying to find root causes and solutions. If we spend so much time qualifying this, and trying not to offend, we aren’t going to get anything done and we won’t carry the conversation forward; instead it will be hung up on this little insignificant thing.

All images found via Google image search.

Honestly…

I’m half afraid of the direction that I’m taking. I’m so often frozen in fear, terrified, that I end up doing nothing. After a few years of being aimless and trying a few different things, I come back to something that is somewhat familiar. Or something that seems like it’s a rational choice. I constantly second guess myself. Question myself on what it is I think I want out of life. No matter what angle I seem to push, I can’t achieve what I truly desire: to live free from hierarchy of any kind. I hate it with a passion that fuels my soul. The only thing that saves my current jobs from being absolutely miserable is the patients I serve and the customers that give me compliments on my patience and thank me for my help. That’s what makes it worthwhile.

And now I’m going back to school. I don’t know if it’s wise or not. But if my employer will pay for it, why not? But is it a waste of time? I worry. I worry that I’m not doing the right thing. It’s frustrating. How do people know what they want? I’m almost 30, you would think I would have it figured out by now. The only thing I know is that I don’t want a boss lording over me. I want to be free to do my own thing. Beyond that, I don’t know how to achieve that goal.

Right now, I’m thinking that I can get a master’s degree in clinical psychology and then open my own therapy practice. Well, I don’t think that you can call it a “practice” if you’re not a doctor, but yeah. And then I could even do counseling and therapy online, which would be nice. It’s going to be a lot of work, but worth the effort. If I can minimize my student debt by having my employer pay for it, that would be awesome. The only cost then would be my time, really, before I can make a living doing my own thing without a boss.

I seem to have it figured out, don’t I? I mean, I have a plan. But I question it a lot. Meanwhile, I’m really excited to go back to school. I love school. I love learning. I love textbooks, even if they cost $206 or $131. But I hate how institutionalized it’s become, and how expensive it is.

I just hope I’m taking the right path. Instead of being frozen with fear, I took a step for once, after some real struggles. Well, is there such a thing as “the right path?” I don’t know if I believe in that. Maybe it’s just a journey we create for ourselves, there’s not exactly a right path or a wrong path. There are paths that are made of poor and immoral choices, for sure. Then we just have to learn from those choices. This is one reason I have a hard time with the concept of “regret.” Yes, I suppose it’s okay to have regret, but I look at these choices more as a learning reference point than one of regret. Can you really regret something if you learned from it?

This has taken more of a philosophical turn than I expected, but I can’t help what thoughts come across my brain the more I think about a subject! I only meant to say that I am not sure what to do with my future, and that I’m not sure of what I’ve chosen. If I’m not sure, does that mean it’s wrong? Does everything have to be certain? And if one is to question their decisions and future, I suppose it does have to turn introspective and philosophical!

All I can do is the best I can do, and take a step even if I’m not 100% about it. It’s better than doing nothing with no goals and remaining in jobs that aren’t letting me live up to my full potential.

Photo courtesy of Morguefile.

That’s a Poor Excuse

When I have things I want to do but don’t, I claim it’s because I “don’t have time.” To be honest, that’s a bullshit excuse. Sure, some things are more time consuming than others. Sure, I am pretty hard pressed for time sometimes. I do work a lot, sometimes more than 50 hours a week. However, let’s just do the math here. In one week, there’s 168 hours. Let’s say I work 50, and sleep 7 hours a night (when I’m working a lot, I don’t actually sleep that much. It’s between 3-6 hours of sleep a night), and spend about 10 hours a week getting ready for work/driving/taking the bus. With all of that, there’s still 59 hours left in the week!! That’s a lot of time! So what do I do with that time? Mostly, I say I’m “relaxing” because I’m working so much that week, which entails watching Netflix and knitting or playing video games. Most specifically, I’ve been playing a lot of Minecraft.

Is that a problem? Not exactly, but it does mean I’m lying to myself when I tell myself I don’t have time for other things. Like writing for example. I could be writing, which I haven’t done in many months. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been inspired to write my novels and I don’t know where to go next. But I could be blogging. I haven’t been blogging for a really long time. Obviously, since this blog hadn’t been updated for a year until recently. I go through stages of writing though, and it’s been that way for years, ever since I was a teenager. I’ll write a lot for a while, and then I’ll just stop until I pick it up again.

Other things I could be doing include building my business. I claim I haven’t had the time to spend on marketing, but I stopped putting effort into it after a while. Even if I just did a little bit every day, it would be a slower build, but it would at least be something. But I was trying to do too much at once with working two other jobs and I found myself overwhelmed and stopped completely. I have this problem when I do things that I need to do everything at 200% speed and perfection and when I find myself failing at maintaining that standard I stop doing it, instead of changing what I’m doing to be more effective.

I could be going to the gym on the regular. Lately I’ve been put out by a back problem from moving and now I’ve been sick so I can’t go until I’m healed from that or else I’ll just get sick again. But before this, I hadn’t been going to the gym because I was constantly feeling tired. But that’s because I don’t sleep much when I work a lot, so I create this problem myself. I could get adequate sleep and still have time to work a lot and go to the gym.

Obviously, I need to create better habits for myself, and better time management. If something isn’t working, I need to adjust what I’m doing to be more effective and efficient, instead of giving up on it completely to play Minecraft instead. This is going to become even more important as I work two part time jobs and go to school with four classes. I’ll still have the time to do those things, and other things I deem as important, with down “relaxing” time as well.

I just need to lay off the bullshit excuse that I don’t have time. (It also sucks when you have so many interests!)

Photo courtesy of Morguefile.

Tiny Houses and Living Small

Sometimes, there are things that I come across that force me to examine my life. A week or so ago, I put Tiny: A Story About Living Small on my Netflix list. I have to say, it caught me by surprise. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Basically, it’s the story about how a guy starts a project to build a tiny house. A tiny house is a house that’s around 100-400 square feet. Minimalist living in the extreme. Below are some examples of this. Generally, tiny houses are built on flat bed trailers because it’s illegal in many places to build a home under a certain number of square feet. All images found on Google.

It takes the space you have, and uses every inch as efficiently as possible. Many times, there’s a living space below, and a loft type of situation on the top, above the bathroom and/or kitchen for sleeping, just enough space to sit up in bed, which looks like just a mattress up there.

It was inspirational to me. I am in debt because I’ve spent more money than I’ve made on things like books, movies, and other junk. I have so much crap. I have a storage unit I’m paying for because of all my books. I wonder how I can downsize my things. It’s always been my dream to have a library of all my books whenever I can afford to buy a house. Which is the opposite of a tiny house. I don’t think I could have a tiny house, because of the amount of materials and supplies I have for Savory Scents. Nonetheless, it forces me to think about how I can lead a lifestyle less in the consumer space. How I can save space. For instance, owning digital copies of games, movies, and music instead of physical copies (yes, I know, that’s still consumerism, but these are my forms of entertainment and escapism). Even digital copies of books. I love my Nook. I read from it nearly every day.

I’m starting to think how I can save money for my own place if I just don’t buy things. Maybe I can make a larger tiny house some day. I’ve started thinking about all the crap I can sell. I won’t sell my books unless I absolutely have to. I already see some things on my desk I can throw away or sell. I just need to do it, and not worry about whether or not I’ll need it someday. If I haven’t used it, it’s time to get rid of it.

If you’re interested, here’s a resource for learning more about tiny houses.